The personal realities of diplomatic life
How missions function under pressure
Also in this edition:
Practical foundations for negotiating with a hostile government.
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This edition continues my aim to explain how diplomacy works in practice, for internationally operating professionals who need more than headlines.
Drawing on three decades in the field, I focus on the lived realities, institutional workings and professional implications of diplomatic work.
The personal realities
The practice of diplomacy is not only negotiation and statecraft. It is leadership, duty of care and life lived in public.
A subscriber considering a move from the private sector into diplomacy wrote to me after I mentioned the lack of privacy that comes with the role. She asked:
How much does that affect your personal life?
A diplomatic mission is an overseas office, but not a normal one.
You live and work away from home. You represent your country formally and often socially. You operate as a civil servant, sometimes in environments of surveillance, volatility or insecurity. Personal and professional boundaries blur.
Understanding that reality is part of understanding how diplomacy functions.
Leadership and authority
At post, the Head of Mission has authority over everyone. Their leadership style shapes not only work, but also atmosphere and personal lives.
Foreign ministries try to:
Screen out bullying, harassment and discrimination
Improve senior leaders’ judgement and emotional intelligence
Gather feedback from subordinates and peers
The Ambassador, or High Commissioner, profoundly influences the tone of the mission.
Everyone who’s served overseas remembers the impact of a strong leader and/or a weak one.
The Head of Mission also carries a duty of care. That responsibility is not theoretical in Kabul or Tehran, nor in Moscow, Hanoi, Pyongyang or Havana. And everywhere, housing, schools, medical care and wellbeing are operational.
When private life becomes public responsibility
Diplomats are human too, with vulnerabilities. Examples I’ve seen:
A senior colleague suffering mental breakdown during a ministerial reception. Welfare is the immediate priority.
A Head of Mission whose own close family member back home was arrested on a very serious charge. Again, the priority is welfare; their mission/team also needs support, as it does to cover family bereavements.
Alcohol dependency at post. Support and discipline were both required. Families and colleagues have to be protected.
“Havana Syndrome”, when the Ambassador’s first responsibility was the safety of colleagues and their families facing an unknown threat.
The eve of COVID, when each officer and “dependent” had to decide whether to remain separated from family and adequate medical systems in an indefinite total lockdown.
Dating for single diplomats can be joyful and fulfilling and/or complicated by status, public role and environment. The expat world can be a goldfish bowl; in some posts restrictive rules apply to dating locals.
“What about gay diplomats?” a subscriber asked; I’ll write more in a coming edition of the Gazette.
All this is is affected by cultures, expectations and political systems.
Culture, environment and surveillance
Arriving in Seoul, I found colleagues conducting regular evening engagements with government and business contacts. They saw it as necessary for trust-building in that period.
In Hanoi, the Residence had once been a house of ill repute. When I arrived, there were no curtains, no house rules, guards asleep on shift.
In Bangkok, staff housing clustered closely together. Gossip travelled quickly.
In Havana, intimate medical problems were discussed openly. At the same time, local staff were formally contracted to the Cuban government.
Human and/or technical surveillance you assume to be operating in high security posts in the office, at home and on the street, 24/7.
Nothing is entirely private.
Privilege and cost
I have written previously about the exceptional privileges of diplomatic life (the Gazette of 27 November). I also wrote on 10 uncomfortable truths in UNtoday.
Lack of privacy is the eleventh. It’s also, paradoxically, a privilege. In tough locations, embassies become close communities. Shared adversity builds loyalty and friendships that last a lifetime.
Diplomacy is not only a profession. It’s a way of living in public service.
If you are considering a spell in government diplomacy, enter with eyes open. Consider privileges and drawbacks together. Take conscious steps to support your own and your family’s wellbeing.
If serious doubts remain, there are alternative paths. Diplomatic knowledge and skills are powerful across internationally operating roles.
Whatever your profession, smart diplomacy matters.
Below:
Practical foundations for negotiating with hostile governments
Case studies from current diplomatic flashpoints
This week’s curated learning and career opportunities
